


If My Wings Could Fly

by JAPKOR



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Again warning, Alternate Universe, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jicheol, M/M, Mentions of being molested, Triggers, connection with dreams, painful dreams, slightly angst, warning, with destined ones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-31 00:32:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8555659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JAPKOR/pseuds/JAPKOR
Summary: Certain people who are destined to be together are connected through experiences that gets projected through a dream. Jihoon and Seungcheol are connected through painful dreams of each other.





	1. Introduction

_The wind was howling outside his window, hitting against the trees and making it louder than usual._

_He stared into the vast darkness of his room, not being able to make out anything except for the edges of his bed and his blanket. Music was playing in the background, loud enough for him to hear and quiet enough for his parents to not complain about it in the morning._

_He sighed. Remembering the previous day and how much it had sucked. Like the rest of them. He doesn't mind his days anymore, he accepts how boring they are, how he can't go out because of how his parents are overprotective. It was all okay, he was going to turn 20 soon and that would change a lot of things. But he didn't want to leave his little brother alone. Not with them. Definitely not. It wasn't bad now as it was before but they just didn’t understand the younger generation._

 

_As his thinking got deeper, he started to shut his eyelids… that's when he felt hands around his shoulders. Pinning him in a strong grip that hindered him to move from his laying down position. He heard the heavy breathing the man took, with each one becoming more forceful and terrifying. He couldn't escape._

_He started to panic._

**_It’s him. What is he doing here? Please make him leave! Please._ **

_The hands started to make his way down to his private area, each movement lowering his clothing to his feet, leaving him nude and vulnerable._

 

_He stopped trying to move even after he released him from his grip to focus more on his rear end. The life was draining from his eyes and the little kid in him started to cry a stream of silent tears. With each cry he became quieter and quieter. The room turning into pitch black, as he was unable to to see anything now, he knew that he will forever have this engraved inside his brain and especially his heart._

 

Seungcheol woke up startled. It was the same dream again.

He has been having the nightmares since he was a child but they just kept getting worse and more vivid, it was as if it had happened to him and he absolutely hated them with all that he could, he wanted to run away from the pain that emerges from within when he had them, but he couldn't run away from dreams that were connected to another person. The fact that this happened or could be happening to someone, made him angry and helpless.  

Warm tears started streaming down his cheeks and as he felt the liquid drip into his arm, he started gripping his face in a tight, hurtful way. When that didn't seem to make his crying stop, he went straight to his hair, grabbed a handful and pulled as hard as he could.

 

~~

As he entered the room, he noticed how it stood silent, the tv was on but it wasn't loud enough to mask the quietness that was surrounding him in a tight hug.

There were empty bottles of liquor splattered all over the living room. His mom had been drinking and he knew what was about to come next, so he prepared as best as he could when her eyes landed on him.

_“You useless piece of shit! If you had just been listening to what your brother was saying he wouldn't be DEAD! He died because of you! I wish it would have been you instead of your brother! It would have made our lives a lot easier than what they are now. At least he already had a career and a bright future. What do you have? Nothing! You and your useless music!”_

_He covered his ears, knowing that nothing would make him prepared enough to be hearing this, it’s been going on for a few years now and his tears still manage to escape his tear ducts. He missed his older brother more than his parents could ever imagine, but of course they didn’t care about his pain, only selfishly about their loss and he knew it. He had heard it enough times to that he finally had planted the blame on himself for what had happened and in the end he did wish it would have been him instead of his brother._

 

The room got darker and less visible as Jihoon got slammed back into his bed, arms and legs slightly out of place from their original position. It was one of those dreams where another one was going on but then it felt like you were tumbling to your death.

He clenched his eyes tights and put his left hand right above his chest, feeling his heart beat a mile a minute. He whimpered a small sniffle and knew that he had been crying even in his sleep.

Having the dreams for a long time now, still made him want to protect the boy from being yelled at those horrible words that people shouldn’t hear in their lives, especially if they were young.

It made his heart ache with anger.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a story that got stuck in my head and wouldn't leave so I decided to write an intro for it^^ let me know if you'd like for me to continue with it!~


	2. Chapter 2

_ Jihoon hurried his way back to the house. He wanted to get there before he did but there was 20 minutes before he came home, which meant he wasn't going to take a shower or eat that day.  _

**_FUCK. why did I fall asleep_ ** _. He disheveled his hair in frustration.  _

 

_ He was a few minutes away when he saw a similar car drive by him and his mind went blank.  _ **_Not today… please… please not today. No. No. No. No._ **

 

_ He took his time walking home, knowing fully well what was to come his way but he remembered his little brother and panicked his way there. Each step feeling heavier, making it harder for him to run.  _

 

_ He quickly slammed the door open but the screen was already going black, announcing the beginning of the video with moaning sounds first. He ran as fast as he could and grabbed his little brother from the floor, covering his eyes and ears as much as he was able to. Soonyoung wrapped his legs around his waist and hide his face into his chest. “Jihoon, why is that woman crying? Is she okay? Is the man hitting her?” Soonyoung curiously asked.  _

_ “Don't worry baby, it's okay. She’s fine. Now, let me take you to my room so you can watch tv there and i'll bring food in a few okay?” His voice quivered a little as he tried so hard to not shed the tears that were building up in his eyes.  _

_ He went up the stairs and took a right, taking a few steps before coming upon his bedroom door. He opened it up and laid his brother on his bed, searching for the remote so he could put on his favorite show for him. “I’ll be back in a few okay baby? Stay here and watch your show.” He heard Soonyoung say okay before closing the door behind him.  _

_ He hesitated before climbing down the stairs again but rapidly made his way to the kitchen. He needed to heat up something for Soonyoung to eat so the kid wouldn't starve to death. Jihoon noticed a pot of oxtail soup on the stove that his mom must have made before heading into work and started turning the nozzle on the stove when he heard a chuckle behind him.  _

_ “I warned you didn't I? I warned you that if you kept avoiding me, i would do the same thing i did with you, to your little brother.   _

_ Remember that day Jihoon? You blankly stared at the screen with tears in your eyes and tried to shut them but i kept you from doing so. Remember?”  _

_ “Shut up.” he refused to have that memory stuck in his head. Especially when it becomes a fresh wound in his mind whenever he mentions it.  _

_ “Your mother was working at night, little brother was asleep and you had woken up because you couldn't sleep. How old were you back then? 8? Since your brother was barely 1 at that time, I think that's about right.” he chuckled again, that nasty laugh of his.  _

_ “If you ever you do that or think about doing that to him again I won't-” _

_ “You won't what!?” he quickly got to him and grabbed him hard by his neck, almost successfully squeezing all the air out of his esophagus.  _

_ “You won't do shit and you know it. You can't leave because if you do, you know what will happen to your mom and your little brother.”  _

_ He felt his hands go down to his pants and Jihoon struggled to break free. He felt the hot breath against his neck and he hated it. He hated the warmth that the nasty old bastard breathed on him.  _

_ “Oh, Jihoon, it’s been too long hasn't it? Has it been like 2 months already? I missed your pale, fragile form.”  The man planted a wet sloppy kiss on his neck, leaving a slimy, gross feeling on it.    _

_ “Stop touching me!” Jihoon exclaimed. He tried to run away from his grip but he was being pushed into making contact with the stove, he felt the heat of the pot almost meeting his back and he jerked forward. _

_ “You don't tell me what to do! Stop moving or else!” he pushed Jihoon backwards, making his back meet with the front of the steaming pot of soup. It caused Jihoon to gasp in pain, shutting his eyes to make the tears and scream disappear.  _

_ “This is what happens when you move and tell me what to do! Do it again and it'll be worse next time. Got it?!”  he slammed Jihoon to the floor and started slowly undressing him, enjoying every bit of the soulless face Jihoon was making. Jihoon didn't even bother wincing in pain as his newly burned back throbbed against the cold floor. _

  
  


_       The soup was finally to the boiling point that was needed to be edible. Jihoon’s face was against the cold surface of the floor. His body and especially his hips, aching in pain. He felt the sticky substance against his thighs and finally let out the tears that he had been holding in.  _

_ “Now that's how you comply with me so nothing can happen to your dear ones. But I hate that you made me ruin your milky skin. Now there's a red mark on it. What a shame. I wouldn't want it to leave a scar either. It’ll be too much of a distraction next time.”  He laughed as he spoke out, turning off the stove as he made his way back into the livingroom. _

_ Jihoon heard the tv being turned super loud, to the point that it was all he heard.  _

_ He stood there for a minute or two until he got up, cleaned himself up and got ready to bring food for Soonyoung.  _

  
  


_ “Jihoooon hyung! What took you so long? I'm hungry alreadyyyy” Soonyoung greeted him from the bed.   _

_ Jihoon put the tray of food on the small table that was in front of the tv and gave his little brother a smile.  _

_ “Sorry Soonyoungie, it’s soup this time so it took longer to heat up than usual, can you guess what type it is? It’s your favorite!”  _

_ He put his little fingers to his chin, pretending to ponder what kind it was. “Hmm… is it chicken soup?” He giggled.  _

_ “Nuuu Soonyoung” he softly laughed at his brother, imprinting his small features into his mind. Especially his little eyes and how they seemed to be more tiny when he smiled. He would do anything for him.  _

_ “I know hyung, I know it’s Oxtail soup!” he got out of bed and sat down in front of small table and patted the empty spot next to him, signaling his brother to sit down with him.  _

_ “I brought some rice in case you were in the mood for it too.” He sat in front of his brother, so it’d be easier for them to converse without having Soonyoung turning his head every second to look at him while speaking. _

_ “Thanks Jihoonie, love you”  _

_ “I love you too Soonyoung, a wholeeee bunch okay?” he reached over and softly touched his brother’s head and hair.  _

_ “Now let's eat!”  _

  
  
  
  
  


“Seungcheol! Wake up!” he heard his friend screaming away in the near distance and sat straight up.

“You were saying no and whimpering in your sleep and then started crying. Is it that same dream again?” His friend with long hair questioned him. 

“Yeah, but it’s never the same one. This time I saw a little more into his life, he has a little brother. One that he loves a lot, a mother that works during the night and has no other choice but to leave them with the stepdad. I saw that asshole’s face clearly for the first time and it angers me.”

“What did he do? Don't tell me that he did-” 

“Yes. That's exactly what he did. It was so fucking messed up. He has broken him down to the point that he doesn't cry while it's happening but after, when he's all alone.” 

Jeonghan just stood silent. He understood him, considering even he was lost at words as to what to say about the dreams and he didn't expect Jeonghan to give him an answer about it. 

“It’s oddly weird, the dreams that you're getting I mean, most people get really lovely dreams of the person whom they are destined to be with but I guess you two must be a sad exception.”

“I guess that seems to be about right. I just hate that he might be getting dreams about me. Mine can't be pleasant for him either, it might even make him feel worse than he probably does.” Seungcheol sighed a big sigh.

“At least you have an idea as to what your person’s name is and what he's going through. I have not even started dreaming about mine yet, i'm a late bloomer.  You started dreaming about yours since you were 8 or 10 right? Wait what if … My person is dead already.”

“What! No! I'm sure that's not it! Your person must be alive, you're just a late bloomer that's all.” He gave Jeonghan a comforting hug before getting up from his bed. 

“You're leaving already?” 

“Yeah, it's close to 10pm already, my parents should already be in their room by now. It's not like they’re waiting for me anyways.” Seungcheol shrugged a bit. 

“Okay, but be careful, it's late and it's dark outside.” 

“I will. Don't worry I wouldn't want to leave you in this cold world to suffer all by yourself.” He jokingly winked at Jeonghan and Jeonghan returned the wink causing both of them to laugh. 

“Want me to walk you out?” 

“The door is literally like 6 feet away from here… i can walk myself out thanks Jeonghanie” 

He got his bag from the floor and headed out the door. 

 

~~~~

 

Jihoon woke up feeling empty. He had not had a dream of Seungcheol in a while and it was making him worried.  **_Is he dead._ ** He quickly got the idea out of his head.  **_He can't be._ **

__ “Hyung!” He had tiny arms softly pounding on his chest, making him disconnect from his inner thoughts. 

“What Soonyoungie?’

“It’s almost time for you to go drop me off at my bus stop hyung so wake up.” Soonyoung crossed his arms in protest.

“Okay, okay i'm getting up now, Soonyoungie you're almost 12 now but you still like me dropping you off at your bus stop… it's cute since you actually look like you're 8 instead of 12.” He teased him.

“Humphh, Says the one that's almost 20 but looks 16” He slightly stuck out his tongue.

“Still cute as ever too.” Jihoon laughed making Soonyoung fully stick out his tongue at him as he said “I won't be forever cute! Just you watch hyung!” 

  
  


They walked hand in hand, not caring if the kids at the bus stop stared at them for doing so since Soonyoung still had a group of friends that surrounded him. Jihoon liked how Soonyoung had a lot of friends even with him being clingy to him. It made him really happy to see his little brother being the exact opposite of him. 

They got to where the benches for the bus stop was and had to stand up, most of the seats were taken by little kids waiting for their private bus to show for elementary school. 

“It’s always crowded in this bus stop” Soonyoung commented. 

“Yes but it’s been like this since i could remember… Soonyoungie why don't you go and talk to your friends over there?” Jihoon pointed at the group of friends that usually waited for Soonyoung to appear so they could steal him away from him and start talking about their games.

“Mmm… today is for you hyung, i like spending time with you because you're the best and plus i get to talk to them at school all day anyways.” Soonyoung bared his teeth. 

“Huh, all day? Hmm are you sure you’re learning Soonyoung-” Soonyoung released his hand as he heard the bus approach and quickly shouted “Bye Hyung!!” and making Jihoon smile to himself due to the fact that his little brother avoided the question. 

 

He slowly started to walk back home, not really thinking about anything when he saw a familiar figure hurriedly pass by him. He froze in place.

**_Seungcheol._ **

He closed his eyes and opened them up again… wanting to check if he really was Seungcheol but couldn't find the person anymore, he was gone from his view. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorryyyyyyyyy omggg I'm bad >< especially in the angst part.   
> I hope you enjoy it so far!!^^


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished this so it's unedited ;-;   
> Sorry for any mistakes, I'll go back and edit as soon as I can!

“Maybe it wasn't him. I mean, did you feel something or did you actually see him?” Jisoo questioned him. 

“.... No, I didn't see him. It was like a tugging sensation in my heart that i got at the same time that guy walked past me, i’m just bitter that i decided to close my eyes instead of looking at him. Heck, I don't even know How he looks like in real life because in my dreams I'm always like- inside of him, you know? Everything happens from his point of view and he hasn't appeared in front of an object that could reflect how he looks like.” Jihoon sighed. He knew he shouldn't get his hopes up just in case Seungcheol wasn't on earth anymore. But god did he hope he was still on this world that had or probably still is being shitty to him. He would shower him with all the love that he deserved if he still was here. He couldn't help but want him to be happy with his passion of music also…. He needed him to know that he had every right to feel content. 

“I know Jihoon, but it's okay, things will definitely turn out good for you and him. I just know it. So just don't think about it too much and try to lighten up about the whole situation. Okay?” Jisoo smiled and patted his back, rubbing soft soothing circles on it. “you know that I love you tons right? I mean what would I do without you?” He grinned at Jisoo and went in for a hug.

“Ohh! But what about you? Have you started dreaming about your future love yet?” Jihoon quickly parted from him and raised his eyebrows in question.

Jisoo stood quiet… grinning from cheek to cheek. “I did. I finally started to dream about him. Oh he's amazing Jihoon! He's Korean!.... at least i think he is. He doesn't look Chinese or from any other ethnicity so i think he is. He has a bright smile and perfect long hair. And when he smiles I feel like I'm dying. It tightens up my chest. I'm infatuated.” 

“Oh god. If you use the word infatuated… it's dead serious.” He chuckled, he loved that his best friend had finally dreamed about his life partner. 

Jisoo squinted his eyes jokingly at him and continued. “YESSS I am hooked. I won't let him go when I meet him.” his smile was that of a person deeply in love and he couldn't be anymore happy for Jisoo.

 

“Don't they say that you start dreaming about them when you cross paths with them? I guess you and him recently crossed paths… did your heart get a tug?” 

“.... actually… now that you're mentioning it, yes. I did get a type of weird feeling as I bent down to tie my shoe when I was with a group of friends. I thought it was just heartburn...  ohmygod… ohmygod. I can't believe this.” He ran his fingers through his hair in disbelief. 

“That's what I read at least but it did say that they had to be near you, so maybe it was someone that bumped into you or someone who was walking the opposite direction that you were going.” 

“No no no don't tell me that-” Jisoo pouted at him before he continued. “Someone slightly bumped into me as I was tying my shoe but I didn't put much thought into it you know? It's not like I'm a specialist in this whole finding your- your soulmate type of thing. OOOOHH but that must mean that you walked past yours when you were a kid. Didn't you start getting them when you were young?” 

“Yeah I did but I don't remember anything of when I was a kid… except for some things…. But other than that I don't remember anything at all. Shit I might have even talked to him when I was little but I don't remember and it fucking sucks.” 

“what things do you remember? If it's not too personal.” Jisoo seemed sincerely curious about it and Jihoon didn't know if his best friend was ready to hear what had happened to him when he was younger. He hadn't tried to tell anyone, not after he made an effort to tell his mom and her not believing him… made him regret to speak up as he ran to take a cold shower, hoping the water would cleanse away all the dirtiness he felt within him. Taking along the tears that were now hidden through the water rolling down his face.

His throat caught a knot and he knew his friend sensed his sudden stiffness. 

Jisoo placed a hand on his knee giving a reassuring squeeze to let him know he could tell him anything and that he'd be there for him. “you don't have to tell me about it right now Jihoonie… just know that I'll always be here when it becomes too hard to bare by yourself any longer.” 

“you know that I love you and trust you as if you were me… I want to tell you. I just hope this won't change the way you see me, I would hate that the most.” Jihoon looked straight into his eyes, not wanting to avoid eye contact with him.

“are you crazy? I would never ever think any less of you. Jihoon, I'd be crazy to do so, I wouldn't be  _ your person _ if I did that to you.” Jihoon softly chuckled at the subtle reference to their matching puzzle keychains. 

“ … okay well, umm. When I was younger, my brother's dad got deported back to Korea for physically assaulting my mom. My mom had been doing fine in the aspect of raising my brother and I but it got to a point where it became too hard for her…. she decided to move in with this man that had been chasing after her for a while and she knew him very well and who, according to her, was a nice man. She made up her mind to go ahead and accept his offer of moving in with him, thinking that she’d get to rest from overworking herself.

The first few months were fine and all but then the guy got laid off at work forcing my mom to start working again but the only way she could do that was by working overnight. She went to work in this big factory and the pay was good so she kept working there for a while but it all went wrong from there for me. He molested me.” Jihoon was trying not to let the tears fall and kept on going. “He touched me. He sang perverted songs to me. He would get pissed off and get me in trouble if I didn't comply with his schemes. He would give me dirty stares from the mirror while he was driving. At some point it started getting less touchy and more  _ doing _ . He would molest me any chance that he got and he knew i would never tell on him because I thought I was protecting my family from getting deported. The fucking asshole threatened me by saying he would throw immigration on us. I wasn't going to let him do that. Not after my mom worked so hard trying to get us here. He did all of that since I was 8 years old. What fucking old perverted scumbag does that to a kid?!” Jihoon couldn't help but tear up, whether it be by anger or sadness he didn't know but the tears just kept streaming out. “all these years I've asked myself why I was stupid enough to let him do that to me. I break out in tears when I remember the slightest thing about him. It pisses me off how naive I was when I was younger. I hate myself for that, I really do.” 

He felt Jisoo’s long arms wrapping around him, giving him a tight squeeze.

“I would hate to go shopping with him. I remember one summer day, my mom needed ice so she told me to go with him. On our drive back home I decided to put the ice on my lap because I had a feeling he was going to try something and he was about to but the bag of ice was in the way and I remember him getting all pissed off as he tried to remove it from my lap but I refused. I preferred to let my legs freeze to death than let him do that to me that day.” Jihoon hiccuped a breath out, not noticing he spoke without giving himself a break.

“I fucking hate him… he permanently fucked me up. He did all that shit till the day he left our lives…. He even tried to molest Sooyoung at one point and that's when the assaulting got worse. He did so much worse things to me because he wanted to mess with Sooyoung but I didn't let him. I wasn't about to let him ruin my brother the way he ruined me. I would rather die than let him do anything to him. I hate him. I hate myself for being a coward. 

You know, I felt a big sense of relief when I found out that he was murdered. I actually laughed… more because I was trying to cope with him not paying for what He did to me and also because he actually got what he deserved. It sickens me to think this way, it makes me hate it all even more Jisoo.” 

Jisoo hugged him even tighter.

“No, i'm sorry. Jihoon, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry you had to go through that. It wasn't your fault. Everything that man did wasn't your fault. Don't ever blame yourself for what happened to you. You were young and He took advantage of your innocent way of thinking. He was the disgusting one. He shouldn't have treated a child in the way that he treated you-” Jihoon heard Jisoo sniffling as he was trying to console him and that's when the tears ran in big droplets, wetting Jisoo’s shirt in the process. “It's okay, cry however much you want. You can cry all you want, I'll be here rubbing soothing circles and assuring you that it wasn't your fault and that it's  never going to happen to you again. You're save now Jihoon.”

  
  
  
  


“Well don't you seem much more lively than usual. I reckon you finally had  _ the  _ dream.” Seungcheol jokingly teased Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan’s cheek got a light shade of pink displayed on them before he answered him. “I did! I love him already. I dreamt that we were living together. We had the cutest apartment too, all well decorated with matching sets of cups and plates and whatnot. I saw that after we got out of bed from cuddling all morning. He felt so warm and so real… I started to cry tears of happiness when I woke up from the dream. I didn't want it to end.” Jeonghan had a smile on his face that shined teeth and could definitely blind anyone that was too close to him. 

“ewwww gross-” Jeonghan punched him on his arm and gave him a glare. 

“I'M JOKING!” Seungcheol burst into laughter at his quick response to his remarks. “of course I'm happy for you. It sounds perfect actually. I'm envious.” He grinned at Jeonghan. 

“Thank you. It means a lot. Considering how I almost went crazy thinking he was dead since I didn't dream about him till now, which probably annoyed you to hear me freaking out. But thank you for being there to tell me otherwise.” 

“Oh no you've been helping me deal with mine since we were young. Of course i had to tell you to be patient because you'd find the perfect one for you.” 

 

“Cheollie you're the best~ oooh but have you dreamt of him again?” Jeonghan wondered. 

“actually no…. Not since that day we were hanging out as a group. It's weird now that I think about it.” 

He shrugged a bit, not wanting to overthink it.  

“you'll dream about him sooner or later. Don't worry too much about it.” Jeonghan tried to ease his mind a bit. 

“ I sure hope so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gawd... it's been forever! Sorry for the short hiatus! But I'm back~  
> I hope you enjoy^^  
> Also, comments make me motivated and happy >.< so feel free to comment whatever you want to tell me!!


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